No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
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She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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