just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
