I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
