So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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