the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
