you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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