She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
