i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
my phone needs a breathalizer
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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