These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
