Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
