Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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