A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
