We're like a lot better than the average bears
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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