What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
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