In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize