you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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