just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
