Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize