i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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