Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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