you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had me at cake vodka
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm getting married
To pizza
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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