And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."