tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year