Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

(405): View more from Oklahoma

Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?

Fav 37 732 1241
share tweet
(906): View more from Michigan

rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.

Fav 9 1231 4080
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(916): View more from California

It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.

(1-916): View more from California

That's why you should quit smoking.

Fav 3 811 2295
share tweet
(817): View more from Texas

I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...

Fav 20 1383 3626
share tweet
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(901): View more from Tennessee

can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.

Fav 10 3422 999
share tweet
(734): View more from Michigan

so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it

Fav 32 1058 7387
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(816): View more from Missouri

I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this

Fav 20 1412 6466
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(973): View more from New Jersey

I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.

Fav 6 2450 805
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(330): View more from Ohio

Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.

Fav 4 552 1066
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT