wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
