you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I will be naked everywhere
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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