All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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