Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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