My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
