Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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