i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
