Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
