White coat. Heels.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Randomize
