New low: just hacked my moms facebook
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Randomize
