Do vagina's smell?
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
