So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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