how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
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So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
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I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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