he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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