thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
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