the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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