can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize