I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
