im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
