8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
