her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
