New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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