ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
