Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
