So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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