if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize