NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
