i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
