Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
