I wanna bring you to show and tell
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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