Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
