Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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