Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
