Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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