I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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