I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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