We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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