never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
