Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I touched a dick in church today
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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