My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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